I had never been very good at self-care and have always been highly sensitive so I lived a life making sure I worked hard and put others first and my sense of self-worth came from this as a way of living. I often blocked my inner knowing of what was right for me and went with the flow of what others thought was best which in hindsight led to leading quite an imbalanced life.
I had always wanted to be a mother and I always believed that with enough love anything was possible. I was really blessed in my early thirties to be in a very loving relationship with a man who also wanted to have children with me. At the same time, I had somehow ended up with a highly successful career as a corporate accountant in London running a large finance department and attending the type of meetings I could never have dreamed of as a child from a provincial town in Ireland. In the eyes of the world I had arrived and was no longer in survival mode. I did yoga, aromatherapy, was a committed Christian, renovated our home and was very, very busy.
I had occasional Reiki treatments through my first pregnancy and my second, for the good of these new babies growing inside me and did all I could to ensure they got the best start in life that I could give them. I looked after myself for them! During this time, I renewed my knowledge of my body that I’d had from years of gymnastic and dance and this was very life affirming. Then, after the birth of our second son, on my return to work my body went into crisis. The joints on my pelvic girdle starting dislocating, one at a time, only slightly sometimes…and I carried on working. Over a period of about two months all the individual joints went and popped or had to be popped back in place and some went more than once. A medical consultant I went to said he did not know what was causing it but the only other time he had seen this was co-incidentally the mother of a second child.
In desperation I went for a Reiki treatment. I was so close to the edge with physical pain, trying to be the best mother and wife I could be and simultaneously hold down a good corporate job and feeling jealous of the nanny. Tripuri put her hands on my body and said “Please come and learn Reiki. You need Reiki every day and I know you will not come to me for that”. She was right – I had not even realised my right hip joint had dislocated until she put her Reiki hands on me and I felt all the pain. So I learned Reiki that weekend and during my first 21 days of self-treatment (looking after myself for the first time in my life) I realised I had had such a long journey with fertility, miscarriages and polycystic ovaries to achieve my dream of being a mother and I had handed over both our sons to someone else to raise for the substantial part of their waking life. I knew I had to leave my corporate job and handed in my notice one month after my Reiki I class. Reiki was there to help us adjust to the implications of that decision and I began to live the life I had longed for.
My biggest realisation was that by looking after myself I had more to give to others. Reiki has been the foundation of my life ever since and my boys are now men and their sister is an additional, much loved member of our family. Reiki has been with me and us every step of the way, through all the ups and downs of relationships in marriage and in parenting, keeping us all strong, healthy and loving. The Reiki principles guide my life and how I relate to others. They help cushion my sensitivity to allow me to be in the world and all of those learned corporate principles have benefited Reiki organisations that I have been in service to over the years.
Reiki has taught me to use all my talents, not just the ones society considers the most important. My most important talent is being able to love. When I found Reiki, I found home – an ability to be at home in the world. The funny thing is I wasn’t looking for a Reiki treatment that day I had a treatment and decided to learn Reiki. It’s just that the osteopath didn’t have an available appointment time!